The Best Advice I Got About Putting 'Accountability' In Action

The best advice I ever got about Accountability in action was from @jillisblack. She posted a series of videos on her IG page and by the end she concluded “If you were wrong then, isn’t there a chance you could be wrong now?”
⠀

View this post on Instagram

The best advice I ever got about Accountability in action… ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ was from @jillisblack. She posted a series of videos on her IG page (see post in my IG Story today) and by the end she concluded “If you were wrong then, isn’t there a chance you could be wrong now?”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I wanted to examine that. To tell you guys today ONE thing I was wrong about before and what I find to be true, today. (There’s way more than 1, but I had to keep this somewhat short) • 1 - My Blackness is only special in a room full of whiteness. • Kinna fucked, right? Deeply warped, yknow? That’s because through some way or another, I thought that in a room full of Black people I am not special. And that being tokenized was some sort of prize 🤢. But I’m going to be gentle with myself here, as should you. Because this is the game whiteness wants us to play. To forsake our community and give our time, bodies and resources to THEIR communities so that the Black community does not reap the benefits of our gifts.🔮 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ People of the African diaspora are nuanced and beautiful. And just because I can’t twerk and enjoyed Evanesces as a kid doesn’t mean I don’t belong to my people. (Like girl what 🤨🧐) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I’d also like to point out that this is also something Black folks adopt in dating. Believing that they need to date outside their race to become more Full people. To be more “cultured.” But oh what a revolution it would be if we learned of our deep history. Like dug DEEP DEEP. To the RUUT. We would never think we were “missing out” by dating within the African diaspora. (Decalcify your pineal gland, beloved. ☺️😄) • Unlearning this has been so enriching. And there’s layers to this. I’m not done. I still seek validation and wonder about the feelings of White people in my life. But I’m unlearning that too cause I have enough things on my shoulders...and I’m putting the white gaze down as a burden I’m expected to bear. • “But Michaé, don’t you still feel Right about a lot of things?” Yes, I do. I do feel Righteous about a few things today: My unique Blackness, white apathy, and the fact that most Dominicans ARE Black. (Don’t @ me 😄) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ *Continued in comments*

A post shared by Michaé Baisden (@michae_b) on

See the full video here.⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀
I wanted to examine that. To tell you guys today ONE thing I was wrong about before and what I find to be true, today. (There’s way more than 1, but I had to keep this somewhat short)

THE LIE

1 . My Blackness is only special in a room full of whiteness.

Kinna fucked, right? Deeply warped, yknow? That’s because through some way or another, I thought that in a room full of Black people I am not special. And that being tokenized was some sort of prize 🤢.
But I’m going to be gentle with myself here, as should you.


Because this is the game whiteness wants us to play. To forsake our community and give our time, bodies and resources to THEIR communities so that the Black community does not reap the benefits of our gifts.🔮
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
People of the African diaspora are nuanced and beautiful. And just because I can’t twerk and enjoyed Evanesces as a kid doesn’t mean I don’t belong to my people. (Like girl, what?! 🤨🧐)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’d also like to point out that this is also something Black folks adopt in dating.
Believing that they need to date outside their race to become more Full people. To be more “cultured.” But oh what a revolution it would be if we learned of our deep history. Like dug DEEP DEEP. To the RUUT. We would never think we were “missing out” by dating within the African diaspora. (Decalcify your pineal gland, beloved. ☺️😄)

Unlearning this has been so enriching. And there’s layers to this. I’m not done. I still seek validation and wonder about the feelings of White people in my life. But I’m unlearning that too cause I have enough things on my shoulders...and I’m putting the white gaze down as a burden I’m expected to bear.

“But Michaé, don’t you still feel Right about a lot of things?”
Yes, I do. I do feel Righteous about a few things today: My unique Blackness, white apathy, and the fact that most Dominicans ARE Black. (Don’t @ me 😄)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

However, I want to admit that while I may be full of “wrongs” today, I’m not gonna stop talking about the things I care about. And neither should you. Don’t be silent & stagnant just because you’re afraid you’ll get it wrong.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I spent most of 2018 yelling and calling white people out for their covert racism. That wasn’t wrong. It’s apart of my evolution as someone committed to civic engagement.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But I want to do it all…with a little more Grace, a little less Force - which results in Solutions and Empowerment.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There’s levels to this shit! And ya gotta get it WRONG to get it Right.


Jill said, “It’s a long fall off a high horse.” But it doesn’t have to be y’all. You don’t even have to get on the horse. Stay down here. with me. And let’s talk about how beautiful and warped, necessary and gluttonous, powerful and vapid - social media really is. 


How do we put accountability in action? It’s simple but requires ALOT of honesty, humility and a commitment to radical self-examination.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Much like Jill said...what if we just admitted, to the people who matter most, “hey I got this wrong.”? We could start there.

Writer's Block Series: What No One Tells You About Exposure & The Fear Of Success (Day 4)

You finished the thing but now someone else has to read it?! How do we give birth to our creations without THE debilitating fear of reflection?

In Part 3, you found motivation and a new level of commitment. But…still...the problem. We gotta deal with that.

In Part 4, we tackle:


1) The final 5 steps to publication
2) How to cope with exposure (or the lack their of)
3) The fear of success


Watch the final episode of Writer’s Block Series on my IGTV.

Writer's Block Series: Battling Your Blocks II (Day 3)

Stuck? AGAIN?!

So you started burning the midnight oil.
The book, screenplay, article or essay was coming together.
You were deep in flow state and full of inspiration and enthusiasm!
Then. 
Writer’s Block.
AGAIN.
Just before the finish line?! 😖
What now?
Don’t walk away! You’re nearly there.

Here’s 5 principles that will help you get back on track.

Writer's Block Series: Creating Your Writing Practice (Day 2)

Now that we got out of our own way it’s time to implement tools in order to get pen-to-paper.

Check out my IGTV episode to get all the goods.

But quite honestly, skip that entire 4 minutes and 53 seconds and just take this one piece of advice: JUST START THE DAMN THING!

6 Things I Learned From Taking The Wrong Job

6 Things I Learned From Taking The Wrong Job

On day eight, myself and my three colleagues were all let go. It was abrupt. And necessary. And dear god I want to give ya'll the warning signs so you don't waste your time on the wrong job.

Creating A Website Will Take You Longer Than You Expect...Have Grace

I had a rough plan of my Wordpress website I wanted to create. I could get this done in less than a week. I thought.

I've managed Wordpress pages for years - setting one up will be easy. I thought.

I bought my domain (and three others like it) in early June. Good lord, why do I need all these Plugins?! And why can't I just add text in whatever spot I want?!

Nothing went as planned.

In short, when creating your business website allot yourself more time than you think you need in order to customize, get photos, edit photos and design the page the way you want.

Also, if you're not HTML-savvy, Squarespace is probably your best bet if you're willing to pay $12/month for convenience and less of a headache. I also tried Wix a few years ago, I also prefer Squarespace over Wix.

And while things go wrong (which they will) have Grace. All works out on divine timing.

 

Readers, would a Website Launch Checklist be useful for you? Please let me know in the comments!